Not merely one of the best songs written with Eurovision in mind, but one of the best songs ever written, and the kind of song that requires only the thinnest of excuses to post. “My lovely horse” is the perfect all-year-round pick-me-up.
In the Father Ted universe, “My Lovely Horse” was a blatant rip-off of the b-side of a song that was entered for A Song For Norway in 1976. It was written and performed by Father Ted Crilly and Father Dougal McGuire, and despite having to revert to their original version of the song when Ted realises that their plagiarism will be found out, they were chosen as Ireland’s “Eurosong” entry for 1996 to ensure Ireland’s run of five consecutive victories in the competition would be ended.
In the sort-of-real world, the song was performed by the peerless Neil Hannon, who also supplied the theme music to the series, and written by Hannon and Graham Linehan and Arthur Mathews, the show’s creators.
In actual Eurovision history, Eimarr Quinn was sent to Oslo and duly recorded Ireland’s fourth triumph in five years. I bet the lyrics of her song “The Voice” weren’t half as good as these, though:
My lovely horse, running through the field
Where are you going, with your fetlocks blowing in the wind?
I want to shower you with sugar lumps, and ride you over fences
Polish your hooves every single day, and bring you to the horse dentist
My lovely horse, you’re a pony no more
Running around with a man on your back, like a train in the night…
We have to lose that sax solo!